In Memoriam: My Beloved Mother

Today marks the fifth year of her passing. Back in 2011, I wrote poem about her and how sad I felt:

My mom was not the best mother in the whole wide world
My mom was not the kindest mother in the entire universe
But even so,
She was the best mother I ever hope for
She was the kindest soul I ever know
and I love her with all my heart

She was my best friend
Someone who always listened to my daily problems
Someone who always laughed with me
Someone who always shared things with me

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At that time I also share this picture

It was the picture of her and my nephew.

Looking at that picture now makes me even sadder….how I wish she had a chance to take a picture like that with my Anka. How I wish she had a chance to hold Anka, even just once.


Dear Mama,

Let me introduce you to your new grandson, Muhammad Fatih Anka. He had just turned 2 months old 2 days ago.

Look at how adorable he is.




Dear Mama,

Having Anka made me realize that it’s not okay to tell our kids that we had risked our life to give birth or we had lacked of good sleep when they were baby or any other sacrifices that we had done for them; in order so that they will look after us when we get old.

Why we shouldn’t do that?

Because everything we do is because of unconditional love, so we really don’t have to expect them to return all those sacrifices in the name of love

Therefore, teach them love! So one day, when they take care of us, it is because of love not because they owe us.

When I took care of you battling against cancer, I did it because I love you so much…not because I had to repay your sacrifices…it was all purely because I love you.

You had taught me well, Mama. You taught me to love you unconditionally.

And I will try to do the same with Anka…to teach him to love me and his father.

Thank you for all the love you had given me.

Love you always and forever.




    • I know it will come naturally…I was thinking like that because most Indonesian said that when you have children you will feel all the sacrifices that your parents had done for you and you will fell like you owe them so much. Well, that’s not how I felt.

      I will try to teach him to be open-minded and caring (with other people, nature and animals) 🙂

      • I felt my filial gratitude strongly when I was a teenager. Yeah – weird time for it. Only a distant echo of it cropped up when I had kids. Mostly I was just frustrated that I couldn’t get my mother to provide any insights into parenting.

        • I know how you fell…being a teenager is the hardest time and having a mother as best friend sure helped a lot.

          I guess I will be in your position too…I couldn’t ask for insight from my mom in raising Anka.

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