Polychrome Interest

A Random Blog of Everything I like

Aqeela and Me – Chapter 4 : The Gate

Previous Chapter:  The Girl In the Photograph

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Image belongs to cool-tery.deviantart.com

Image belongs to cool-tery.deviantart.com

When the girl in the photograph – she called herself the Gate Keeper – slowly opened the gate to her world, I instantly knew that the cabinet would be the gate. I half expected it to be like Narnia but I had used the cabinet since we moved to the house and there was nothing behind the cabinet.

She said that the photograph was the key and I could understand why she said so as the gate slowly appeared in front of me. She, the Gate Keeper, pointed the lantern in her hand at the cabinet. The light from her lantern was so bright and so white; it reminded me of burned magnesium, something I did in science class. As the bright light shone upon the cabinet, I could see the cabinet slowly changed into a new shape. The cabinet was now a gate. The light became dimmer once the gate had fully formed.

Copyright: 123rf.com

Copyright: 123rf.com

The gate was not like those common gates we see so often; it was more like a Japanese Shrine gate. There were two huge wooden pillars on each side. Each pillar was full of carving I had never seen before, but somehow I knew they were letters. I couldn’t read it but I was so sure it was to keep unwanted visitors away. There were three cylinder lintels; the middle one was much shorter than the other two. Each lintel also full of carving, but it wasn’t the same letters as carved on the pillars, there were images of beasts. Some had horns, some had fangs, and all of them were images that could make little kids hide behind their mother.

I took few steps backward, I didn’t want to go to a world where scary beast was carved on its gate. But I had nowhere else to go. My room had disappeared, there was nothing but white light around me. The light didn’t stay long. Few second after the gate was fully formed, the white light around me was sucked into the gate and left me in full darkness. Then something glowed in front of me. The gate was glowing in a beautiful green light. The images of the beasts on the lintels had disappeared. Nothing was carved on it anymore. The letters were still on the pillars. I was wondering whether they were still the same letters as before. And then on the other side of the gate, a small white light emerged.

Half my brain told me I should ran the other way while the other half told me to follow the light. There was nothing but darkness behind me and in front of me was a world, undeniably, full of beasts. I stood still in confusion.

“You can’t stay there for long! They’ll eat you! Come here, QUICK!!” It was the Gate Keeper’s voice.

“Eat me?” I whispered. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. The beasts on the lintels will eat me if I stayed in the dark was the first image that came into my mind. Should I believe her?

I heard heavy breath on my left and that triggered my legs to start running toward the gate.

As I got closer, I saw the girl on the photograph with her hand holding the lantern in front of her. The lantern was on her right hand. Her left hand was in front of her face like a Buddhist monk. She was chanting something. Her eyes were shut. When I ran passed her, she immediately moved her left hand to the side of the lantern and took the light away. I saw how the light moved from the lantern into her palm and slowly sipped in her palm. The green light from the gate was the only light now. She was still chanting. The green light slowly moved into her body and made her glow like a green fairy. And then the green light moved into the lantern. Once all the light was inside the lantern, she turned around and raised the lantern above her head. I could still hear her chant.

She stopped chanting and then the green light left the lantern and took the darkness away. It was like a detonation of green light. I could finally see things around me. They were all a bit greenish, even the sky was light green.

The girl suddenly collapsed and before I could get to her, someone had caught her.

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Since I am not a native, feel free to correct my grammar :) I need all the correction I can get. And I am also open to all the critic you can give me. This is my learning process.

About Novroz

I actively maintained 2 blogs. My personal blog is about things that I love: Turtles, Books, Movies, Music, Larc en Ciel, Muse, Cillian Murphy, The Mighty Boosh and many more. I also help my 3 super cute turtles, Kroten, Papoe and Kurome, to maintain their own blog: http://kamekroten.wordpress.com

17 comments on “Aqeela and Me – Chapter 4 : The Gate

  1. Gray Dawster
    August 10, 2013

    This is a wonderful story Miss. Novia🙂

    I see that you are asking for help with grammar and yet anyone that reads this can fully understand your words, indeed there is no need for corrections as your words tell the story perfectly. so much so that I am looking forward to reading more🙂

    Have a delightful weekend
    my sweet and great friend🙂

    Andro xxxx

    • Novroz
      August 11, 2013

      Thank you sooo much Andro🙂

      I am planning to write the fifth chapter two weeks from now because I missed one chapter last month due to intense busyness….the plan was supposed to be one chapter per month.

      Have a lovely weekend too, Andro🙂

      • Gray Dawster
        August 11, 2013

        I will look forward to your next chapters
        Miss. Novia🙂🙂 I hope that your weekend
        has been a lovely one my sweet friend🙂

        Andro xxxx

  2. WordsFallFromMyEyes
    August 11, 2013

    Your writing is great, very vivid.

    You have one word too many though… ” I was half expected it to be like Narnia” should be “I half expected it to be like Narnia”. You don’t need “was”.

    Really great stuff though – I could see the magnesium white as you wrote it.

    • Novroz
      August 11, 2013

      Thank you Noeleen🙂
      I was struggling to make my imagination turned into words…especially in a language I wasn’t born with. Sometimes I wish I can draw them.

      Thank you for the correction🙂 Will fix it soon.
      Hope you’ll come back and read the next chapter🙂

  3. ruth
    August 12, 2013

    You’re a gifted writer Nov, I hope you collect these short stories and publish ’em one day!

    • Novroz
      August 13, 2013

      Aaww… thank you so much Ruth🙂
      However, this one is not a short story…thia is a serial. I admit that I have lack of discipline to write a long story, by doing this I am trying to learn to be consistant in making long story. The plan is to write at least 10 chapters for Aqeela and Me.

  4. Alice Audrey
    August 16, 2013

    Yah,I didn’t miss this installment on the story!

    This is such great setting work. I mean, all she does is step through the gate, but we really feel the fear and mysterious quality of it. Well done.

    • Novroz
      August 16, 2013

      Thank you Audrey🙂
      I am glad you said that because when I wrote it, I thought this is too long.

      • Alice Audrey
        August 25, 2013

        I will admit I like short better, but I had no problem with this length once I was able to sit down with it.

  5. TBM
    August 16, 2013

    So happy you share these stories. Do you plan on publishing them at any point?

    • Novroz
      August 17, 2013

      Thank you for reading TBM🙂
      I haven’t been able to finish long story…if I manage to finish this over 10 Chapters without drifting away, yes I plan to translate it and send it to publishers or self-publish🙂 wish me luck, I am trying hard to stay consistent here

  6. Caroline
    August 19, 2013

    This is longer than the previous ones, no?
    It’s getting really interesting. I like the description of the gate.
    Keep writing Novia, it’s getting better and better.🙂

    • Novroz
      August 20, 2013

      I think it’s almost the same, I rarely write over 1000 words. It’s longer in term of posting it😉 I didn’t post Aqeela and Me last month because I was so busy.

      Thank you so much Caroline :blush:

  7. Old Egg
    August 22, 2013

    Just when the reader thinks that all is well another crisis occurs. You certainly know how to capture the readers interest with this story.

  8. Pingback: Aqeela and Me – Chapter 5: The Witch and The Guardian | Polychrome Interest

  9. Kitten
    November 1, 2013

    Not even minutes after entering the gate and Mia’s already at risk of being in danger. I honestly don’t mind lengthy writing because, well, I’m guilty of writing wall of texts myself, haha.

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