Flash In The Pan : Secret Door

I couldn’t remember when the first time my mom told me never to come near the door in the basement, let alone open it. I never asked her why, I just obliged. She died yesterday. Her death made me wonder about that door for the first time in my life.

The door was calling me to open it. I couldn’t find the right key so I used an axe to force open it. I pushed myself through the crack I had made.

There was a skeleton. It had the clothes my dad wore the last day I saw him.

Exactly 99 words! 🙂

This is part of Red at Mommy’s Money Matter’s Flash in The Pan

I wrote 2 flashes at the same time, this one is about a door while the other one is an experimental writing techniques where I used nothing but conversation. I published it at Underneath The Shell.

Here’s an excerpt of Perfect Company

“Customers are  coming!!! Act cute, girls!”
“I’ll just stay here. They won’t choose me anyway.”
“Why are you being so pessimistic? That attitude made them avoid you!”

In total, I had written 3 flashes. The first one is a bit like poem called Unrequited Desire .

Please let me know what you think. I gladly accept all critics :)

23 thoughts on “Flash In The Pan : Secret Door

    1. Thank you, Red 🙂
      Your flash had made my creative works again…I’ve been idle for too long.

      aha…actually, thriller and horror are my fav genres…I have been writing few shorts with this genre.

      Thank you again, Red

  1. At first I thought it was going to be a movie review. The ending is perfect.

    In the second flash, I get the feeling you mean “customers are coming” which implies they will be arriving soon rather than “customers come” which is what you would say when you are ordering them to approach.

    1. Thank you Audrey 🙂 …trying to create suspense in limited words is a fun challenge for me.

      Thank you so much for the correction, I was so concern about the number of words that I forgot about simple grammar like that. I will fix it right away 🙂

    1. Since you posted another comment, I decided to discuss in here.

      reading your first comment, I thought to force it open has better grammar than to force open it…but now you are also not certain. We really need another opinion now.
      But I think yours is better.

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