Polychrome Interest

A Random Blog of Everything I like

Flash In The Pan : Secret Door

I couldn’t remember when the first time my mom told me never to come near the door in the basement, let alone open it. I never asked her why, I just obliged. She died yesterday. Her death made me wonder about that door for the first time in my life.

The door was calling me to open it. I couldn’t find the right key so I used an axe to force open it. I pushed myself through the crack I had made.

There was a skeleton. It had the clothes my dad wore the last day I saw him.

Exactly 99 words! 🙂

This is part of Red at Mommy’s Money Matter’s Flash in The Pan

I wrote 2 flashes at the same time, this one is about a door while the other one is an experimental writing techniques where I used nothing but conversation. I published it at Underneath The Shell.

Here’s an excerpt of Perfect Company

“Customers are  coming!!! Act cute, girls!”
“I’ll just stay here. They won’t choose me anyway.”
“Why are you being so pessimistic? That attitude made them avoid you!”

In total, I had written 3 flashes. The first one is a bit like poem called Unrequited Desire .

Please let me know what you think. I gladly accept all critics :)

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About Novroz

I actively maintained 2 blogs. My personal blog is about things that I love: Turtles, Books, Movies, Music, Larc en Ciel, Muse, Cillian Murphy, The Mighty Boosh and many more. I also help my 3 super cute turtles, Kroten, Papoe and Kurome, to maintain their own blog: http://kamekroten.wordpress.com

23 comments on “Flash In The Pan : Secret Door

  1. Pingback: Flash in The Pan : Perfect Company | Underneath The Shell

  2. Red
    October 4, 2012

    Oh, this is great. Very suspenseful. I love that you are trying on different genres. You are very good at this, Novia ❤
    Red.
    xxx

    • Novroz
      October 5, 2012

      Thank you, Red 🙂
      Your flash had made my creative works again…I’ve been idle for too long.

      aha…actually, thriller and horror are my fav genres…I have been writing few shorts with this genre.

      Thank you again, Red

  3. Parlor of Horror
    October 4, 2012

    Beautifully written!

    • Novroz
      October 5, 2012

      Thank you so much, Michael…it meant a lot coming from a writer like you.

  4. Chinoiseries
    October 5, 2012

    Your “flashes” gave me chills, Novia… very well written!

    • Novroz
      October 7, 2012

      Thank you Tze-wen.
      I am still trying to do my best with flash…glad you feel the chill 🙂

  5. Alice Audrey
    October 7, 2012

    At first I thought it was going to be a movie review. The ending is perfect.

    In the second flash, I get the feeling you mean “customers are coming” which implies they will be arriving soon rather than “customers come” which is what you would say when you are ordering them to approach.

    • Novroz
      October 8, 2012

      Thank you Audrey 🙂 …trying to create suspense in limited words is a fun challenge for me.

      Thank you so much for the correction, I was so concern about the number of words that I forgot about simple grammar like that. I will fix it right away 🙂

  6. ruth
    October 7, 2012

    Oh my, that Secret Door story is VERY good Nov! Even in 99 words you managed to make it suspenseful and heartbreaking. Well done!

    • Novroz
      October 8, 2012

      That you Ruth 🙂
      I am glad you can feel the suspense and the sad part of the story.

  7. Caroline
    October 9, 2012

    Wonderfully creepy. Really good. (It should say “to force it open”)

    • Novroz
      October 10, 2012

      Thank you Caroline 🙂
      I am back with my creepy stories…hehe couldn’t stay away from it.

  8. Caroline
    October 9, 2012

    Now I posted that comment and am not sure anymore whether it can be force open it.
    Any one else?

    • Novroz
      October 10, 2012

      Since you posted another comment, I decided to discuss in here.

      reading your first comment, I thought to force it open has better grammar than to force open it…but now you are also not certain. We really need another opinion now.
      But I think yours is better.

  9. Nina
    October 9, 2012

    Cre-epy. Gave me shivers! love the flash (:

    • Novroz
      October 10, 2012

      Thank you Nina 🙂
      It always gives me pleasure when my creepy stories really deliver their creepiness to the readers.

      • Nina
        October 10, 2012

        Hehe just as they’re supposed to lol 🙂 good job!

  10. TBM
    October 9, 2012

    Oooo…love the eerie sensation.

  11. The Focused Filmographer
    October 17, 2012

    I had to click the “read more” option after reading. it had me hooked. VERY well written.

    • Novroz
      October 17, 2012

      Thank you T 🙂
      I am trying to improve this flash fiction art.

  12. Pingback: Flash In The Pan : Alive « Polychrome Interest

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This entry was posted on October 4, 2012 by in Short Story & Others and tagged , , , .

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