Polychrome Interest

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Flash Fiction: Looking For a Better Life

I heard about Flash Fiction few months ago, it’s a story created from a picture and only written in less than 300 words. I am tempted to try it ever since. My story called ALICE was almost fit to this category but it was still more than 300 words.

Here is my first try on this type of writing by using Creative Writing Ink picture.

Looking for a better life

I can’t stop smiling seeing that body finally takes its dive down the lake. Soon, everyone will notice that she has been missing. Ah, there’s Robert shouting for her name. He will soon see her silhouette in the lake and start panicking. I am right, I am always right when it comes to Robert, he is panicking now and start calling everyone to come to the lake. Look at how everyone runs as if they really care that she is now dying in that lake. I know deep down inside they are happy to see her disappear from this world. They never really care about her and her problems. They always brushed her away whenever she needed someone to talk to. She was related to them only by blood not by heart.

They take her out of the lake now and give her CPR…trust me, it won’t work. She had been down there more than an hour and none of them noticed her walking to the lake with agony on her face. Even though you bring the best doctor in the world, he can’t make her live again because I won’t return to her body anymore. I get rid of her body because I had enough with her life and her ignorance family. Bye bye my old life I hope I have a better family in my next life and maybe I don’t have to kill myself again.

Total: 238 words

As always, do criticize me as I am still learning to be a writer.

About Novroz

I actively maintained 2 blogs. My personal blog is about things that I love: Turtles, Books, Movies, Music, Larc en Ciel, Muse, Cillian Murphy, The Mighty Boosh and many more. I also help my 3 super cute turtles, Kroten, Papoe and Kurome, to maintain their own blog: http://kamekroten.wordpress.com

25 comments on “Flash Fiction: Looking For a Better Life

  1. Wanda
    October 19, 2011

    Tragic, but some hope, anyway…I liked the very end: Maybe I don’t have to kill myself again~

    • Novroz
      October 20, 2011

      Thank you for reading Wanda.
      I know it’s tragic, all suicides are tragic…but it actually can be prevented

  2. darkjade68
    October 19, 2011

    Nice Piece

    DarkJade-

  3. Aswin Jose
    October 19, 2011

    Very innovative response to the prompt. I liked the end very much.

    • Novroz
      October 20, 2011

      Thank you Aswin. I try to challenge myself to do something new with the prompt.

  4. Robert Lee
    October 20, 2011

    the last line was very powerful! Great job!

    • Novroz
      October 20, 2011

      Hi Robert…long time no see🙂
      Thank you for the compliment.

  5. Castor
    October 20, 2011

    Interesting story Novia. Should we be worried about you? ah😉

    • Novroz
      October 20, 2011

      Hahaha…first of all, thank you Castor. Second, don’t worry I have a very happy family that will prevent me from doing like she did

  6. Carson Margedant
    October 20, 2011

    Good work, btw unless Alice is over a thousand, most definitions of flash fiction have you covered.

    • Novroz
      October 20, 2011

      Thank you Carson.
      Alice was less than 500 words, I though flash fiction only for less than 300, thank you letting me know it was less than 1000words

  7. Caroline
    October 21, 2011

    I read about flash fiction and have read a few stories. It’s fascinating to try to condense a story like this. I wanted to try it but forgot.
    Yours is well done, very tragic but well done. The flash fiction I read was even shorter.
    Here is one I like by Hemingway : “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”
    or this one
    “Longed for him. Got him. Shit.” by Margaret Atwood
    and this is one you should like
    “Easy. Just touch the match to “by Ursula K. Le Guin

    • Novroz
      October 21, 2011

      Thank you Caroline.
      Are those the stories?? Only a line? wow I didn’t know flash can be that short. I didn’t get the first one but totally understand the last 2.

      I have heard something like this before, but I didn’t know it was also called as flash, I can’t quite remember the exact world but it goes something like this: “The last man on planet suddenly heard a knock on his door”. Nick told me about that.

      • Caroline
        October 22, 2011

        The first one is quite tragic. A couple has a baby but the baby dies before he/she can walk and will never get to wear the shoes. It is very sad. And maybe the mother dies too and will therefore never have another baby.

        • Novroz
          October 23, 2011

          Aw…that is indeed tragic😦
          I am now tempted to make something that short.maybe for the next picture.

  8. dhitzunako
    October 21, 2011

    I love the twist! I thought the “I” refer to her sibling (I remember Silent Hill 5 game plot), I was wrong! Great flash, btw.🙂

    • Novroz
      October 21, 2011

      Thank you so much Dhitzu🙂
      At firts, I want to make ‘I’ as the one who pushed her into the lake…but I thought it was too obvious. And then I made ‘I’ as the soul.
      I like doing this flash. Will definitely do more of it in the future🙂

  9. jayadhara
    October 24, 2011

    Yes, we always hope our next life will be better don’t we🙂

    • Novroz
      October 24, 2011

      Honetsly…I don’t believe in the next life in reincarnation term like this story😉

  10. si_ulil
    October 27, 2011

    Oh, wow, you’re right! The theme IS similar!
    And I have to say, I LOVED it! What a twist! I thought it would be like…’What Bridget Did’ sort of thing, but I was pleasantly surprised by the ending! Well done, indeed!

    • Novroz
      October 27, 2011

      Thank you Lan🙂
      Unexpected ending is really the best…in my opinion. I am glad you like it and didn’t expect the ending to be like that. This flash fiction is really fun.I want to do it again,you should try it too😉

  11. Theresa
    October 28, 2011

    Aw, tragic story. I like how it wasn’t clear straight away who was in the lake, but became apparent in the second paragraph. Also, I wonder who Robert is? Father, brother, boyfriend, friend.. poor girl not realising she is cared for. Well written story!😀

    • Novroz
      October 28, 2011

      Thank you Theresa🙂
      Robert is her youngest brother,at least that’s what I thought in my head…I tried not explain much because I don’t want to exceed 300words. She actually realized it, he was the only one she felt reluctant to leave behind. I am glad you notice him.

  12. Pingback: Unrequited Desire « Polychrome Interest

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This entry was posted on October 19, 2011 by in Short Story & Others and tagged , , , .

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