Polychrome Interest

A Random Blog of Everything I like

A Single Meeting – My first Writing Exercise

My reason for writing this story is here. For short, I am trying to train my brain to start writing some stories. This story came up after seeing this picture below which is posted by Creative Writing Ink.

Here’s goes my first short story that doesn’t relate to my turtles:

A Single Meeting

I couldn’t tell for sure why this memory suddenly came flashing in front of my eyes, maybe…yes, maybe it was because I was looking at my son sleeping peacefully in his crib. A small human being who needed my guidance and my care through some parts of his future life.

When I was ten years old, about twenty years ago, I met a stranger whose presence seemed to linger in my memory for decades. This stranger was an old man around fifties, I thought so when I first – and the only – time I saw him. As I grew older and looked back at that moment, I thought he might not even be in his forties yet, pain had made him older than his real age.

He was leaning on the fence of our family’s farm, looking so tired and lonely.

“What are you doing in my property?” Said I.
“Your property?” the man replied.

“Yes! This is my dad’s farm. See over there!” I was pointing at the big house that looked small from where we were standing. “That’s my house”

“Aaa…then, it is your father’s property, not yours,” He replied with plain expression.

“Well, what belongs to my father is mine because I am his son!” I raised my voice out of dismay.

“Not unless you buy it or inherit it.”

“Aw whatever!”

Then we both became quiet. I was so annoyed with him but I couldn’t make my feet dragged me to another place, I just sat there looking at him. Then the man sat with his back on the fence pole, and like a cow being dragged in its nose, I sit not far from him. I had no reason to do so and I was also annoyed by him but he also intrigued me in a way I couldn’t explain.

“How old are you?” He suddenly asked me.

“Ten″

“Hmm…I thought so,” When he said it, there was cloud over his eyes. He remained silence for few moments.

“I have a son about your age once. A handsome and obedient boy. But I was a bad father. I look like a bad father, don’t I?”

I shrugged as my answer for his question. How do I know how a bad father looked like when I was still ten. He smiled seeing my shrug as an answer.

“You’re just ten, how do you suppose to know how a bad father looks like, right?” He said with a smile and looked directly at me.

“Wow! That was awesome, sir! You could guess my thought. Are you a hyp…hyps..hypsosist, sir?”

Instead of answering me, he laughed so loud. I smiled with him even though I didn’t know what he was laughing about.

“No, I am not a hypsosist…I don’t think no one in this world is a hypsosist”

“You’re wrong! I saw it on TV, a hypsosist was reading someone’s mind.”

He simply smiled without explaining me and correcting my mistake. He remained silent again afterward.

“Why are you a bad father, Sir?” I tried breaking the silence between us.

“I abandoned him,” He gave a long sigh and continued “I thought if I could give him anything he wanted, he would be the happiest boy in the world, so I worked hard to fulfill his needs”

“Sounds like a good father to me. My dad always talking about a lot of things I don’t understand when I asked him to buy me something”

“Does he play with you?”

“Yeah…we always played football, badminton and other sport there” I pointed the left side of my house. “Dad is really good with sport even though he is only a farmer.”

“You have a good dad then” The cloud appeared on his eyes again. “I never played with my son, always so busy with my work. I bought him everything he wanted and needed but I didn’t give him the thing he desired the most, time to play with me, to spend time with me. I brushed him off every time he asked me to do something together…all in the name of work.”

“Dad also works all the time and he even makes me work in the morning.”

“Having this big property, I can see how busy your dad must be” He smiled again at me “But somehow, he had time to spend with you, right?”

I nodded.

“Most of the time, I went to work before my son woke up and got back home after he was asleep.” His eyes were watery at that time. “Listen kid, you seemed to have a good father, follow his step, ‘kay. Enjoy every minute you have with him. And be like him when you grow up and have your own children. No matter how much money you’ve spent for your children it will never replace the time you spend with them. Time is priceless and you can’t go back to the time you have left behind. Do you understand kid?”

“Sort of.”

“Good! You might not understand now, but just remember everything I said, you’ll understand it one day,” He gave me another smile.

Then, I heard my dad calling for my name, it was time for me to help him with some chores.

“Go to your father, kid.” He stood up and I did the same.

“Well…bye then,” I was few paces from him and turned my body at his direction. “So, you will spend time with your son now?”

Another smile, a very sad smile, he said “I wish I could”.

He left me looking at him for few seconds then he turned away to the direction opposite me. And I ran to my dad.

I never saw that man again. I didn’t understand his last words back then, but now I knew what it meant. My dad had given me a great live experience and that stranger had put it in words. I make a pledge in my heart while I was looking at my son and remembering the event by that fence. I will be like my dad and will try not to be like that man. I wondered what had become of him now.

 

Well…There you go…my first very short story that doesn’t involve turtle 😉

(My turtles’ shorts are here and here). Please give me your honest opinion; I want to know how bad it is so that I can write a bit better next time. I never took any writing class, so I know there will probably a lot of typing mistake and the story created in a week by an amateur will also sounds lame…do criticize me, please!

Advertisements

About Novroz

I actively maintained 2 blogs. My personal blog is about things that I love: Turtles, Books, Movies, Music, Larc en Ciel, Muse, Cillian Murphy, The Mighty Boosh and many more. I also help my 3 super cute turtles, Kroten, Papoe and Kurome, to maintain their own blog: http://kamekroten.wordpress.com

16 comments on “A Single Meeting – My first Writing Exercise

  1. Olive
    February 27, 2011

    Hiya! Well done on your first non-turtle story:D I thought it was very good (honestly). And there aren’t so many typing mistakes as you think! I wonder what did happen to the man…

    • Novroz
      February 27, 2011

      Thank you 🙂 Tho I won’t mind anyone criticizing it
      I let what happened to the man unconcluded, because it’s impossible to know what happened to someone we only met once.

  2. dhitzunako
    February 27, 2011

    “No, I am not a hypsosist…I don’t think no one in this word is a hypsosist” — “word” supposes to be world?
    ..and..
    “I will be like my dad and will try not to be like than man.” — “than” supposes to be that, I think.
    If it comes to grammar, I can’t help, I’m no good there… ^^
    Other than that, I think it is a good story, though I expect something more “strange” as the title suggests me. ^^ You ended the story quite good too.
    Keep on writing, Nov. Looking forward for your other stories.
    And, if you decide to join writing.com, there, you could find many honest reviewer. They will tell you what things that can be improved. They are kind too.

    • Novroz
      February 27, 2011

      Thank you for spotting that mistakes 🙂 will fix them now.

      I, myself, thought my first short will be a bit Stephen King-ish…but it turns out to be like that hehehe…I have misunderstood my own thought.
      I have joined writing.com 🙂 thx again for the link,now I need to know more about that site,I am still confuse now.

      Btw,you can also join Creative Writing Ink,the pictures are not only for story but also for poems…and you are a good poet.

      • dhitzunako
        February 27, 2011

        @Novroz and Olive…
        I saw the deadline, it said that we have to post our entry no more later than Friday. T.T
        But, I try to enter my link, and hey, I still can post it. 😉 Hope it is okay. Hehehe.

  3. Pingback: Ah, This Seemingly Eternal Border is Killing Me « dhitzunako: her mind, her imagination

  4. lifewith4cats
    February 28, 2011

    This is good. I thought maybee the old man was the grampa who wanted to visit his son (the main characters father) but didn’t have the courage to and left without saying why.

    • Novroz
      February 28, 2011

      Thank you Sara 🙂
      Feel free to tell me if something not good in it as I am trying to be better.
      That’s a nice way to think who was that man…but you are forgetting the age of than man.

  5. Caroline
    March 1, 2011

    It is a nice story but I got one tiny criticism. I am not sure if a 10 old boy can think that he is too young to know how a bad father looks. I don’t think he would think this. he might just think “I tried very hard to imagine how a bad father would lokk but couldn’t ” And then the man says “You were just wondering how a bad father looks”.
    I don’t know if I make sense.
    I thought the little boy is dead or that the man is dead, that he is a ghost visiting a little boy.

    • Novroz
      March 1, 2011

      Thank you Caroline 🙂
      I understand, I should think more of the way children think on certain matter. I will keep that in mind next time.
      Ah..the ending is really up to anyone who read it 😉

  6. Sara
    March 2, 2011

    Every one has different ideas, so I will say that I don’t agree with caroline on one point. That sentence the boy said didnt quite fit as a response. But thats exactly why I liked it and it drew me in to the boys world. Children sometimes say the most inteligent things at the most unexpected times. Children have imagination and are not yet aware of all the correct things to say. So I can totaly see a child who wishes to please his elder, say “I’m not old enough to know….”

    • Caroline
      March 7, 2011

      I agree, they are very intelligent and can say the most incredible things but I doubted his interior monologue. I’m not sure that at ten he can be aware of future knowledge.

  7. nadiafriza
    March 4, 2011

    Why turtle, miss..?

    Btw, there’s no way a ten years old kid understand the “hypsosist” word, I think. 😉

    So sorry I haven’t visited your blog for a long time. Glad that I’m back though.

    • Novroz
      March 4, 2011

      Hehe because it’s so easy to write stories based on my lovely turtles behavior.

      He saw it on the TV,it was supposed to be hypnotist but since he only saw it once, he got the word wrong and also the meaning of the word it self.

      I haven’t visited yours either…been so busy lately. Nice to see you again 🙂
      I should hop to your blog soon….I’m planning to hop here and there tomorrow, since tomorrow is holiday.

  8. sundryandco
    March 4, 2011

    Great work, Novroz – A pleasure to read!

    • Novroz
      March 4, 2011

      Thank you Roisin 🙂
      Too bad I can”t think of anything from this week’s picture

Say something so I know you have read my post, THANK YOU for reading :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on February 27, 2011 by in Short Story & Others and tagged , , .

Categories

Movie Event

Thank you for following me :)

Join 2,553 other followers

Check these books!

RSS Celoteh Siswa

  • Kepribadian
    Hari ini, guru Bahasa Indonesia di sekolah meminta anak2 kelas 6 untuk membuat kalimat dengan menggunakan beberapa kata, salah satunya adalah KEPRIBADIAN. Salah seorang anak membuat kalimat yang menarik 😉 “Saya menyimpan kepribadian saya di locker”

COPYRIGHT

© Polychrome Interest [bokunosekai.wordpress.com]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material and/or photographs without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All requests to republish excerpts, articles, or photos must be made to the blog owner/author.

Tweeeeeettttt

Goodreads